I can eat it! McDonald's Edition

What's that, Mayor McCheese? I'm sorry...I can't talk to you. I'm allergic to you now.

What?? How can you be allergic to me?

I do not have human dander. That is false, sir.

As you may already be aware, Mayor McCheese is a liar. A filthy, rotten, dairy-soaked liar. Oh, of course our fry buddies don't have dairy in them, silly. Why would fried potatoes have milk in them? Ha. Ha. Ha. (Backstory)

Anyhoo...back to the point of this blog which is:
WHAT CAN I EAT AT THIS HORRIBLE/DELICIOUS RESTAURANT?

1. Hamburgers

The top of every list of food for a reason...because they are awesome. And singles with no cheese are only $0.79! Screw the dollar menu.

Big Macs (no cheese) are also safe, from what I can tell. But I prefer the singles.

2. McChicken

McDelicious, McSomewhatCrunchy, McOverUsedMcInFrontOfStuffWhenTalkingAboutMcDonald's.

3. McRib

Does anyone eat these? The impression I get from television is: Yes. Yes, everyone loves them and that's why they are always, "Back at McDonald's."


And, in honor of The French Fry Debacle (the side project from my main group, Vegan French Toast): Funny Hidden Dairy.

1. French Fries

DON'T EAT THEM. Sorry, I don't know what to tell you on this one. This is the exact quote from the ingredients list:

CONTAINS: WHEAT AND MILK *(Natural beef flavor contains hydrolyzed wheat and hydrolyzed milk as starting ingredients).

So I guess the "natural beef flavor" is in the oil that the fries are in...but that might just be a rumor. Either way, there is some dairy in there, so you may want to steer clear, my dear.

2. Sausage Patty

Yep. Can't even have a sausage patty on the side. Not happening.


So, Mr. McCheese, I've got to go. What do you mean, "Where are you going?"

I've got a date with the Hamburgular. He knows how to treat a non-dairy lady.


McDonald's Complete Ingredients List

I can eat it!

Let's start this off with some good news...there is stuff I can eat! Yes, even with a dairy allergy, I have found that I can live a full, unhealthy American life with all the junk food I can stand! Let's start with one of my favorite spots: Burger King.


AHHHH! Oh, sorry. That dude is frightening. But sneeriously...

These are the things that I can eat so far, in no particular order.

1. Hamburgers! Whoppers! Whopper Jrs!

Yes, that's right. There is no milk in the hamburger buns at Burger King! I'm thrilled, aren't you?

2. French Fries!

Now this one seems obvious, but if you have this allergy you are probably already aware of the McDonald's french fry debacle. To clarify...there is milk in the fries. WTF?

3. French Toast Sticks!

This is the funniest one. I was a vegan once (that lasted all of six weeks, don't ask), and when I was searching around for food to eat, I found out that BK french toast sticks have no egg or milk in them. French toast, just like Mom used to make it! Thank Jeebus for these new-fangled chemicals and additives. Who needs food-based ingredients anymore?

4. Chicken Fries!

Ah, yes. The chicken nuggets spicier(ish), thinner, more expensive cousin. The nuggets have milk in them, but the fries don't? Whatever. I'm just glad I can have fried chicken.

5. Soda!

Delicious, fizzy soda. Or as we say in the Midwest, "pop."

This list is by no means exhaustive, but I have an unrefined and very limited palette. For those who would like to scour the list a bit more, here is a link to the official BK ingredients list.

http://www.bk.com/cms/en/us/cms_out/digital_assets/files/pages/IngredientsDeclaration.pdf

Happy eating!

P.S.: My new indie rock band, Vegan French Toast, is playing tomorrow night at the Off-Ramp. See you at the merch table!

Oh, no...So maybe I'm not just lactose intolerant?

My name is Kathleen. I am a 24 year old college student with asthma and some serious dairy issues. I have known for a while that I can't drink a whole glass of milk without being in some pain, but it has recently come to my attention that I may not just be lactose intolerant.

I did the two weeks with no dairy, and here I am: improvement in asthma symptoms, reduced stomach pain.

And all I can think about is pizza and Cheetos.

I have spent the past few weeks trying to figure out what on earth I can eat, since 90% of my diet is pre-packaged, processed or of the fast food variety. I have had some surprises, good and bad, and have decided I should work on making a list of things I CAN eat instead of those I can't. And I will share it with you.

Don't you feel special now? Of course you do.

To start, here is my disclaimer:

1. I have terrible eating habits. I don't eat a whole lot, but what I do have is awful for me. I am attempting to stay sane by eating what I normally would have, just minus the stuff with dairy. For example, cheeseburgers will become hamburgers (when there's no dairy in the bun), pizza will become cheeseless pizza, etc. DO NOT COME HERE FOR NUTRITIONAL ADVICE. I am awful at that stuff.

2. I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR NUTRITIONIST. I only have a mild milk allergy, meaning I could survive a glass of milk. If you have a very severe allergy, I'm not sure if you should take my advice on what to eat. Plus, restaurants often have regional suppliers so ingredients may vary depending on what area you live in. THIS IS JUST GENERAL STUFF ACCORDING TO A LAYPERSON.

Phew...now that we got that out of the way....I want a cheeseburger. I mean hamburger.